I am pretty smart. In fact, I am smart enough to have gotten some pretty mediocre grades throughout school. Huh? Well, I was smart enough to get by without studying too hard or putting much effort into my homework, and my grades reflected my effort, not my intelligence.

I recently read a fascinating article about two different kinds of praise: intelligence-based and effort-based, and it made me wonder how I could use this new information to improve my life.

The Intelligence vs. Effort Showdown

Picture this: You aced a big project. One of your peers claps you on the back and says, “Whoa, you’re a genius!” Nice, right? But here’s the twist—praise like this focuses on intelligence, attributing your success to you can’t really control.

Some people might clap you on the back and say, “You worked incredibly hard on that!” Here, the spotlight is on your effort—something you can control. This time, the applause gives rise to a growth mindset—a kickass mentality that celebrates resilience, learning, and persistence intelligence. Voila! The foundation for future triumphs is laid.

Why the Fuss Over Praise?

You might wonder: why all the fuss over what kind of praise to use? It’s because intelligence praise can inadvertently set people up for mediocrity or failure. If you’re like me, and things comes easily to you, you might not be living up to your potential because you’re coasting along. On the other hand, effort praise motivates growth and resilient responses to hurdles.

Researchers discovered those praised for effort tend to engage more deeply, maintain motivation, and persist longer, even when the going gets tough. It’s like turning every stumble into a stepping stone towards success!

Self-Talk: Your Inner Cheer Squad

Now that we’ve cracked the praise code, let’s talk self-talk—the inner dialogue that runs through our minds like an infinite playlist. When you learn to be your own biggest fan, you’ll transform this playlist into one that boosts performance and happiness.

Here’s how:

• Revamp Your Praise: Switch “I’m just not good at this” to “I am learning and getting better with every step.”
• Celebrate the Process: Replace “I failed” with “Look at how much l’ve learned from this experience.”
• Persist with Positivity: Instead of thinking “This is too hard,” try “This is a chance to challenge myself and grow stronger.”

Since I’m focusing on moving toward better health, I will celebrate progress and effort, and stop being so hard on myself. I need to always remember to talk to myself like I would talk to my friends. I would never let my friends say mean things to themselves, and I shouldn’t be mean to myself either.

• Instead of saying, “I suck because I just ate a whole pizza,” I will say, “Look at you! You didn’t eat 4 breadsticks with that pizza! You chose to eat a salad instead.”
• Instead of thinking, “It takes me forever to get my laundry done because I have to go up and down my few stairs,” I will say, “You’re moving your body, you’re working on your balance, and your laundry’s getting clean. Well done!”
• Instead of bemoaning the fact that it’s hard for me to get in and out of my car, I can be proud of myself for going out in public and talking to other humans!

When I condition my self-talk to emphasize effort and growth, I’m basically winking at challenges and saying, “I got this!”